i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
