...so i touched it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
