she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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