Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize