I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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