Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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