Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize