I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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