Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
