For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
