I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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