So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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