hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
