Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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