So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
