I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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