you would pick up someone in the library
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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