can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize