moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
