I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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