We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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