I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
