She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
