When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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