BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
