Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
