just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
