i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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