the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
