Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
