im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
