Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize