I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
