My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
