whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
