so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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