I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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