Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
