Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I enjoy the company of your penis
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
