So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
