she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
