Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
