You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
