she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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