Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
