Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
