Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
