I'm drive I can fine osifer
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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