I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
