i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
