Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
