i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
What happened to fro yo and sex?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
