are you still at the devil's house?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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