dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
