Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
