dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
