god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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