:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
