Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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