it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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