Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
