i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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