Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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