it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
