I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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