I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
