you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
