dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
