So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize