Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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