So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
